I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts. ~ John Locke

Sisters

We were the best of friends. I remember one fight and one instance where I said one horribly mean thing. I still feel bad about it, by the way. She....? remembers more. I think she made some up.

She was the one I could confide in about ANYTHING. She was my mommy a lot of the time...and still is, no matter how much I try to buck her mothering.

She was incredibly sweet and in any argument where I was trying to get my way, all I had to do was ask a few more times and she'd give in. 

^Ty                  at summer camp                  ^Taj
We were and are as apposite as two can get. It is almost always inevitable...she likes something...I dislike it, and vice versa.

 She was a pretty, girly girl who had a purse at the age of 6 (and actually had things to put in it! I was like 16 when I started carrying a purse and could never find anything to put in it. Now I carry a big tote AND a purse!)

 She wore make up at the age of 13, I was a tomboy who had grass stained knees and tangled hair.

Her side of the room was always immaculately clean, mine was incredibly messy. In fact, we would be laying in bed at night...I think this was before we divided the room...I had, like always, taken my clothes off and left them on the floor. She told me to get up and put them in the hamper. I, of course, said no and that I would do it in the morning. We would argue back and forth about it, her exclaiming in frustration that she couldn't sleep knowing clothes were just lying on the floor. She would always get up and put them away.

 We took turns turning off the light every other night. I would often convince her that I had done it the night before, knowing full well this was her fourth night in a row to do it...I...sound like...no...I...WAS...a horrible kid! Ok, enough with the stories.

I always thought our kids would be great friends, living close by, they would play together often.

I wish life had turned out that way.

 I desperately wanted another girl and right away. I wanted her to have the same kind of wonderful friend I had, and to our surprise we got one. And here is where their story begins....

Haddie loved Jenna even while in my belly and was elated to see and hold her for the first time.

 

She was enthralled with this new tiny person.

   Incredibly tender and sweet with Jenna, Haddie takes the big sister role very seriously. Haddie is always "taking care of" Jenna. She disgustedly yells, "mommy! mo!" pointing to the milk dripping out of Jenna's mouth while I'm holding her. Other times, when Jenna is on the floor or in her bouncy seat, Haddie picks up Jenna's shirt collar with her pointer finger and thumb, being sure to stick the other fingers way out to avoid touching the offending, white slime, she wipes at it mumbling disgustedly under her breath, "mo, mo." until Jenna is all clean.

By Teeter Photography

By Teeter Photography

 Jenna is very patient with Haddie's lovin' and boy, does she love her.

By Teeter Photography

By Teeter Photography

 They are my little sleeping angels and I can't wait till they are old enough to sleep together. I loved that I shared a bed with my sister most of my childhood.

Haddie loves it when they share...even...if it isn't free will on Jenna's part.

The roles have already been established.

"Reading" to her little sister

For some reason Haddie doesn't think it's ok for Jenna to chew on her hands. She is usually more adament about it, telling her no several times, making sure Jenna understands her. To Haddie's great frustration the hands usually go right back in the mouth.

Haddie often "gets" high fives from Jenna.

Haddie wants to hold Jenna all the time. Apparently I sit indian style often because Haddie will take her leg and lift it way up and plop it on her other one. Then she pats her legs saying "hol, hol" She holds her for all of two seconds before she lets go of her to sign all done. Jenna of course immediately flops over every time

Decked out in their BSU bows watching the game :)

“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.” ~ E. L. Doctorow

My Day

It amazes me how I wake up in the mornings with my whole day planned, written out on my little butterfly sticky notes, (I get nothing done unless I have a list, it is my morning routine to write one.) starting with breakfast and the to do's I plan on doing that day. I honestly think as I write them out that I will get them done, and in that order. My list today? breakfast, living room, kitchen, lunch, kids nap, workout, bathrooms, shower, dinner, clean carpet. I also needed to organize the office, AGAIN. After having checked that off my list a few days ago Haddie so sweetly pulled all the books off the bookshelves I spent a few hours rearranging just so. Thank you O.C.D. Also, the girls room STILL needs organized, and I have boxes in our bedroom I still need to go through and put away. So, I thought I was being reasonable by not putting EVERYTHING on the list. Just the things I thought I could accomplish today. Bah!

You know what I accomplished. I know you probably guessed breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Yeah, yeah, whatever, you guessed right, BUT I also, let me proudly say, napped the girls. Ha! Feeling proud of me yet? OK, so I did more than that. I worked out as well, with a few interruptions. The stupid DVD kept skipping because my little darling played with it while I was preoccupied. (probably while I was eating!) It was a blessed interruption tho because I was doing level three, which I have not yet done, so the skips and freezes were a nice break. I thought about letting myself be done when halfway through the second round of three it skipped to the end where Jillian is saying how proud she is of me that I accomplished it....it had to skip to that part. So, yes, I took it out and wiped it down. I am happy to say it worked after that. Really, I am. (sarcasm? what sarcasm?) Again tho, it was a nice break for breath catching before she started "encouraging" me to keep going. Also, I got a phone call that I HAD to take. Unfortunately it was a quick call.

I did get the living room done and cleaned the kitchen. Well...I swept the floor (the shredded cheese that Haddie spilled all over the floor forced me to, otherwise it probably would have been put in tomorrow's to do's) and cleaned up the counters. unfortunately, I didn't get to the dishes or mopping. I got the girls in bed and was about to start on the carpets when I decided to make myself some decaf. I was hungry, but didn't want to go over my calories for the day, and it was late. Got it made, and started on the carpets only to discover the agitator wasn't working so, I let Jake figure it out while I finished sipping on my coffee. 

The carpets are done and I would normally be dead asleep right about now, but the lovely decaf I sipped on (all four cups) was not decaf. So, here I am babbling on at 12:08 am about my day and how unsuccessful it was, contemplating going over my calories to calm these shakes. Nothing like caffeine on an empty stomach to make you feel like the addict! The shower (don't judge!), kitchen, and bathrooms will have to wait till morning, probably at an ungodly hour since I won't be able to sleep because of the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I curse you caffeine!  

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart." ~William Wordsworth

My "God Stop" Today

So it kills me to say this, but I haven't been a good mom in walking out my relationship with God for my children to see (Haddie really). To be honest, I've been struggling the last couple of years and it hasn't been until recently that I have been "involving" Him in daily activities. 

I want my children to love the Lord! I want them to experience that same passion and all consuming love that I've experienced, and I want to be the one that inspires that. It has been my desire since I've had her, and I couldn't muster it up on my own. Believe me I tried! 

Since experiencing some real freedom recently we have started praying together as a family and also just me and the girls. Haddie quietly watches us, taking it all in. I am sharing this with you because today, *sigh* today I experienced something that I don't think I can relay with the same burning passion it created in me.

My dad is going through some really hard things right now. While talking on the phone with my mom I told her I would be praying for him. Haddie, who was standing next to me, closed her eyes, said a few sentences (I can't tell you how badly I wish I had understood what she said!) and loudly said amen as she lifted her head and opened her eyes. 

It brings tears to my eyes just retelling it. Not because she prayed, although, that is incredibly sweet and is enough to bring tears to this hormonal set of eyeballs, but I cry because He is so faithful! My heart yearned to be a mother who's love for the Lord created a desire in my children to pursue that same Lord, and today I saw a glimpse of that same yearning in God's heart. 

Is there anything more tender than the prayers of a child?!?! I think not.

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you. ~ Oscar Wilde

That's Not Dirt On My Kitchen Floor

That's not dirt on my kitchen floor

Look away, I must implore

Not dirt at all, I cry

Just what's left as the kids ran by

Those aren't piles of clothes on my couch

Please don't sit down, they might scream ouch

Not unfolded laundry are they

They're mountains and caves where the children play

That's not a smudge on my window pane

Nor is that dirt in my window frame

It was left just that way, I timidly say

So I can walk down memory lane

Those aren't unmade beds you see

Now close the door, I say with a plea

No unmade beds in this clean house

Just trampolines for my little mouse

Those aren't cobwebs way up there

Now look over here, I say with a flare

It's on my to do list, it was put there last year

I just haven't got time to take check it, I fear

Those aren't dirty dishes in my sink

Ten more appear every time I blink

No dirty dishes everywhere

Just full tummies in that highchair

Those aren't crumbs on my living room carpet

OK, so they are, please just don't repeat it

At least they had fun while making such a mess

I say as we step back and asses

You see I've got little ones

I love and adore them tons

In this here house, we cherish them

Having fun, we don't condemn

(By Colby Photography)
If a clean house is what you came to see

Then perhaps you should call and send a warning

Even then, I make no promises

I'll probably be smothering my kids in kisses 

(By Teeter Photography)

A great writer reveals the truth even when he or she does not wish to. ~ Tom Bissell

Our Morning Routine

This is AFTER she is dressed.

You should see the wrestling match that unfolds while trying to get her clothes ON her.

“Write your injuries in dust, your benefits in marble.” ~Benjamin Franklin

Just One of Those Days

First she pooped on my leg...

Then she spit up on it...



"The man who writes about himself and his own time is the only man who writes about all people and all time." ~ George Bernard Shaw

Much Ado About Nothing

I love working out. I mean, I sincerely dread doing it, but when it's done and I've accomplished it, I feel amazing.

I worry I go through my wine too quickly. How long is a 1.5 L supposed to last a breastfeeding mom anyway?

I like taking Jenna shopping with me...I like to believe the stares I get are a captive audience to my sweet baby...not the greasy hair and baggy maternity clothes. (yes, shower time is a rare art of achieving nap time for both girls at the same time and I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. And the only clothes that fit me right now are my too big maternity clothes...see why I like having her. I would be aggressively explaining myself like a mad woman to every shopper who dared to look my way...like I'm doing now, with you...if you're there..)

I worry that I don't balance mommy time well between the girls.

I often have fights with Jake in my head when I think he is upset with me and going to confront me...only, he never is and never does. The really sad thing is...I'm usually really upset with him by the time the "fight" is over.

I am procrastinating with writing a blog about nothing instead of working out and showering while both girls are napping.

I love the two seconds of peace I get between pulling down my pants and sitting on the toilet before that sweet little voice starts calling "moooooommy!".

I dream of something big happening in our lives that makes us go "back"  where I can be a midwife's assistant again.

I must go shower now...