My Jenna Beth

My poor sweet pea has had a rough go of it. I know I've posted a few things on here talking about how tiny she is. It has been such a long hard road with her. We've recently discovered she has allergies. Allergies to EVERYTHING.

I got pregnant when she was only 3 months old and since I have a hard time producing enough milk when I'm pregnant, I started supplementing with goats milk when she was about 4 months old. I completely dried up when she was 6 months old and switched her completely to goats milk. She would have about 6 bottles a day. Pretty much all winter she had a runny nose, gunky eyes, and a cough. I just kept thinking she wasn't getting over the cold that we had all gotten or she was continuing to get colds one right after the other. Her cough got so bad she would drink a bottle and then cough so hard she projectile vomited the entire 8 ounces she had just drank. She was interested in food and acted like she wanted to eat, but didn't have much of an appetite. At 11 months I took her in to the Dr. and we discovered she was allergic to goats milk. Everything made sense now! The constant congestion, the cough, the vomiting, and even her lack of appetite. We promptly switched her to an almond milk formula, dropping it down to three bottles a day and aggressively introduced foods so she would get enough nutrients. We started her on vitamins as well. Within a day I saw a huge difference. She immediately cleared up and began to devour food. She quickly gained half a pound. Up to this point she hadn't gained any weight for quite a while. I was so excited to see the improvements! Finally, we figured things out and it would be smooth sailing from here. How often do you run across goats milk in the ingredients? I knew it would be an easily avoided allergy and one we could live with.

After a while I started noticing she was getting congested again. She had a constant runny nose and her chest sounded asthmatic. She hadn't gained any more weight and she was having around 7 or 8 runny, poopy diapers a day. I thought she was probably allergic to wheat since she seemed to get the worst after she had had some so I tried removing that from her diet. It is so hard to cut wheat out! It is in everything! Even in spices. I wasn't very successful at it and it didn't seem to help much. She was seen again and we were told she had a leaky gut. She had formed an allergy to the almond milk formula and we figured she was pretty much allergic to everything. I put her on a strict meats and veggies only diet till her stomach had a chance to heal. We put her on probiotics, glutamine powder, and had to make a chart of her foods. Because of her leaky gut I couldn't give her things too often because she would form an allergy to it. I had to write out a menu and make sure she was only getting a food every other day or longer. I couldn't give her fruit because it was shooting right through her. Even her vitamins were too strong for her stomach to handle. I also had to pump for her. She needed the extra calories and nutrients my milk could give her.

I think this was the hardest time that I have gone through. Here my tiny little girl had allergies so severe she had a leaky gut and wasn't growing. It was an incredibly heavy weight on me. I kept beating myself up mentally for not breastfeeding her longer. If I hadn't gotten pregnant I would have been able to breastfeed her longer and protect her. Maybe I didn't try hard enough when my milk was drying up. How could I have not known what was going on with her and taken care of it right away? On top of all of that I had all the "normal" stresses of having three kids under three. It was hard enough having to sit down and feed Jackson as often as a newborn needs, but then having to pump for Jenna completely took all my time. I would feed Jackson, pump for Jenna (for like an hour and I would only get 2 ounces!), eat, go to the bathroom, and start all over again. I lived on the couch for three days. Finally, my milk supply increased enough so I only had to pump 2 or 3 times a day for about 20 mins each time. Thankfully my sister was here and able to help with everything.

 If I thought life was hard while I had her help I was shocked to discover it was much harder once she was gone. I was on my feet all day cleaning, feeding kids, changing diapers, dressing and redressing kids, and cooking. At the end of the day it looked like I hadn't done anything and I was lucky if I had gotten three meals that day! How was I supposed to do this?! I was on the verge of tears all day every day. I was constantly fighting them back because I felt like if I gave in and let myself cry I wouldn't stop. 

Jenna is so incredibly strong willed, stubborn, and determined. She knew she wasn't able to eat what we were eating so she would get into the pantry if ever it was left open. She would eat dry noodles and anything else she could get to. When I would sit Haddie down to eat Jenna would climb up Haddie's chair, on top of Haddie, and eat her food. The whole time Haddie was screaming and trying to keep her down. She would climb anything to get to food. It was a HUGE battle to keep her away from food she couldn't. She was so severely allergic to things that the little handfuls she was getting here and there were enough to keep her from healing up. 

I have an unusually large doorway between my dinning room and living room. I couldn't find a gate long enough, high enough, or strong enough to keep her out. She wasn't improving at all and had even gotten some serious injuries from falling while climbing to get to things. I felt so overwhelmed and helpless. HOW could I keep her away from the food?! Especially while breastfeeding. I would have to lay Jackson down and run over to her so many times in a feeding that Jackson would quit latching on after the first or second time. That was incredibly frustrating because he would then want to eat an hour later, and it would start all over again. I got sick of this so I walked through my house with a measuring tape trying to find ANYTHING I could lay across the doorway to keep her out of the kitchen. I no longer have a hallway closet door. It was long enough when laid on it's side that it fit perfectly and was impossible for Jenna to get over. 

Once food was contained in the kitchen Jenna improved very quickly. Her poopy diapers starting slowing down. Her nose and chest starting clearing up, and she quickly gained weight. At 2 weeks we took her off the probiotics and introduced fruits and vitamins back into her diet. She handled it just fine. We have seen a difference in her appetite as well. Before, everything she ate would shoot right through her so she was hungry all the time. She would eat huge amounts of food and she wanted to eat all the time, but she was never satisfied. Now she eats her 3 meals, a good amount of them, and has her 3 snacks. She usually has 2 - 4 solid poopy diapers a day.

I was told I could start trying to add things slowly back into her diet to see what she reacts to and I really wanted to, but I was really worried. We had worked so hard to get her to this point and I didn't want to go backwards. She was doing so good. But she got a good amount of wheat the other day by accident. I was really panicky and scared about it. I kept expecting for her to get that asthmatic sounding cough, congestion, the runs, anything, but she never did react to it. My first thought is that she is healed. I know so many people have been praying for her. Even now, tears are welling up in my eyes just thinking of all the people who took on this heavy burden with me and continually asked for healing for our precious little girl. If you are one of those people and are reading this...Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I felt every prayer and God moved on your behalf!

I do wonder if it is just that she hasn't had any thing since we put her on her strict diet, so her body is healed up and healthy, and the amount she got wasn't enough to cause a reaction. But I do know that my Lord is powerful and I could tell you story after story of his miraculous healing not only in my life, but lots of others as well. I do not doubt He is able. I just don't want to rush in and let her have whatever she wants only to find out she still has allergies. However; it has removed that fear of slowly trying things to see what she is allergic to now. Today I gave her rice. So far she has handled it great. It is only 3pm so we shall see how the rest of the day goes and I'll even continue to watch for a reaction tomorrow.

God is so good. I didn't know how I was going to get through that hard time, but I have. I no longer carry that heavy burden around. Jenna is even better than I imagined she could be, and it happened so much faster than I could have hoped for! We have settled into a routine, and I'm not on my feet all day every day working hard only to feel like I've accomplished nothing. I find my joy in the Lord and His redeeming power in my life. He truly is my strength and shelter in the storms! Even if my little Jenna isn't healed, I am so grateful for the people He has brought into our lives! Our Dr. who gave us all the medical advice and guidance that has brought Jenna to this healthy point today, and all those who supported us both physically and spiritually. I am overwhelmed by God's love and the willing vessels he has used to pour that love out on our lives!